Look at the stars...*

Breathe in and breathe out

2007-11-11T05:31:43Z

Hold on hold tight if I'm out of your sight
And everything keeps moving on, moving on
Hold on hold tight make it through another night
Everyday there comes a song with the dawn

We push and we pull and I fall down sometimes
I'm not letting go, you hold the other line
'Cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes

Breathe in and breathe out
Breathe in and breathe out
Breathe in and breathe out
Breathe in and breathe out

Uncle Bobby <3
11-8-07

This is the story of us all.

2007-10-06T16:18:14Z

Last homecoming tonight. It's so hard to believe, but it's so exciting. It's definitely gonna be one to remember.

Life is wonderful. I'm in love with a boy that is everything I've wanted, and waited for. It really couldn't get any better.

Senior year is more fun than I ever could have imagined. There's no drama for me to speak of, and I really hope it stays that way.

I can't stop smiling, and it's a good feeling.

Good night, good night

2007-09-03T05:26:37Z

Ah yes, my annual last night of summer journal entry. Tonight, however, I don't have much to say. Things are changing, and I'm ok with that. I've come to accept that that's just the way life plays out.

Here we go, onto our senior year. It's wonderful and terrifying all at the same time for me. But I'm ready for it. So ready. I know it's going to be one amazing year.

Nothing too spectacular to leave behind this summer, because I'm going to make sure I carry the best parts of my summer with me.

So for the last time in my high school career..

Here's to falling in love
To never giving up hope
To best friends
To summer.

Too much to do to set my heart right.

2007-08-14T03:32:58Z

love.

listen.

accept.

forgive.

say goodbye.

breathe.

let it go.....

It's the art of not letting it get to your head,
Not letting it break your heart,
And not letting the world see when it does.

You are a most uncommon thing

2007-07-23T20:39:55Z

Ahaha! =D

When it comes right down to it..there are no words to describe how wonderful it feels it finally get our timing right.

!

Your kiss left me
b r e a t h l e s s *

Just this once, don't think.

2007-07-21T04:06:29Z

So go ahead...take your time...make your mistakes.

I'll wait. It's been three years. I'm not going anywhere now.

woahh

2007-06-28T17:47:14Z

And still...4 years after starting this journal, I'm absolutely amazed at how I have changed.

But I think I like who I've become, and the person I'm still becoming.
I'm also amazed at how every part of my life has changed in four years, and I honestly cannot complain one bit.

I'm not sure what I believe in regards to a 'higher power,' but someone has a plan for me, and I'm definitely liking what they've come up with so far. Maybe it's me? Or maybe it's just fate, because I definitely believe in that. No questions asked. =)

You give me something that makes me scared alright
This could be nothing, but I'm willing to give it a try...<3

Live Summer <3

2007-06-17T18:34:05Z

Summer sun . . . Has never felt this good

Swimming . . . I've never had a better feeling

Getting up for the let down . . . Has never been this fun

Summer nights . . . Have never meant more

Being myself . . . Has never been easier

The summer stars . . . Have never been more lovely

Everyday . . . I look forward to

My friends . . . Amazing

Right Now . . . I've never felt more alive

Back to you, it always comes around

2007-06-05T22:57:32Z

Finally. Finally. Three days. California. My season.

Finally. Words cannot express how happy I am. It seems like just yesterday that I looked outside and all I could see was snow. Now I step outside and I can smell summer. I can feel the warm sun. And I can't wait. This year took a lot out of me, but it's almost done.

What else can I say? This time of year brings me the most wonderful feeling there is. The only thing that will top this is how I'll feel at 11:00 Friday morning when I can walk out the door and finally say good bye to this year, and hello to my wonderful season.

He and I are talking again, which makes me even more giddy. All I want to do is smile. I refuse to let anything come between me and this high I've been feeling for the past week. No more. No more drama that was this year. Just summer. Just that amazing feeling.

I'm a senior. Weird huh? I started this journal before my freshman year. *laughs* That's just too much.

So on to summer once again. Here's to hoping for the best <3

This is the deep and dying breath of this love that we've been working on.

2007-05-17T22:27:45Z

So go ahead. Make the same mistake. I hope you know it's all on you now. This is your fault. I hope you realize eventually how let down I am and I hope you realize one day that you've wasted your high school years with this girl who in absolutely no way deserves you.

I want you to know that it broke my heart to see you with her today. It broke my heart to know what you're getting yourself in to once again. I'm going to lose my best friend that I never really got back in the first place. I miss you, and everything we could have had.

I want you to know I will feel no sympathy for you when she breaks your heart again. I will be the first to say I told you so. You were so caught up in whatever the hell you see in her to finally give us the chance we never got. I'm completely lost when it comes to figuring out what you see in her.

You'll realize one day that she isn't good enough for you. She's taking you away from everything your high school years could have been. So good luck building yourself up for this let down. You know it's going to happen. I'll be here when that light bulb finally goes on. You are so much better than that.

Until then. I guess fate just doesn't have a chapter for us to fill.

Good timing is everything. And without it you have nothing.

One more night and one more time

2007-05-04T20:24:48Z

Prom tonight...crazy 8-)

Your eyes say it all

2007-04-23T00:58:37Z

“I guess sometimes things like that happen when you least expect them. You can know somebody for years, but somehow the timing is always off. Then one day you wake up and find the timing is right for once, and you just…let the rest of it fall into place.”

Here's to hoping...

callnitlovesoon @ 2007-04-13T23:25:00

2007-04-14T03:27:03Z

Eww..Friday the 13th. Bad memories..haha, they're kinda funny now that I look back at that October 13th entry. Ohh my, how things change.

Hm...

Timing is everything...if you don't get that right, you've got nothing.

2007-04-09T03:27:24Z

Snow on Easter. 40 degree temperatures all spring break. This is funny. April Fools right!?

heh..

I don't believe in destiny or the guiding hand of fate

I don't believe in forever, or love as a mystical state

I don't believe in the stars or the planets

or angels watching from above

But I believe that there's a ghost of a chance

we can find someone to love

and make it last.

For some reason, that makes my heart ache.

It's just a season thing, it's just this thing the seasons do...

2007-03-21T23:45:57Z

It's finally spring. Life is going pretty well, John Mayer was too amazing for words, spring break is coming soon.

Today I have a lot of hope. Although next week will be rough, I know I'll get through it. My season is finally in sight, and the weather is finally starting to break.

Right now, when I look out the window, I can see a beautiful sunset, full of soft color and promise. The buds are starting to appear on the trees, and the air smells fresh and new.

I feel good most days. For the most part, I feel comfortable in my skin and I'm looking forward to what the next few weeks will bring. Aside from summer, this is my favorite part of the year. I get to watch everything come alive again after a winter that seemed much too long. With every day that passes, and the more I watch spring step in, I can't help but feel alive as well.

The cold air surprises...

2007-02-14T03:12:00Z

Today, I'm reminiscing with Sarah about summer. It's what we do best.

I'll even settle for spring. Or some sun. But now, with 6+ inches of snow on the ground and more coming, it looks like we'll never escape this. Soon enough though I suppose. I just have to take it one day at a time. uggh..

Sweethearts was amazing. And I can't wait for prom. Jimmy comes home Friday, and I'm going to see John Mayer in 10 days. =)

Little things to get me through the last bit of this terrible season.

I miss the summer nights the most..

Exactly how you hear it, is exactly how it all went down

2007-01-26T19:15:57Z

Things are better now. I'm happy, and I really have no complaints. I feel good, the new me is coming along nicely.

I sat down one day, looking through my planner, and discovered that from now until the end of the year, we don't go to school more than 3 weeks without having some sort of break. let's take a look at my list, shall we?

2-10: Sweethearts
2-16: No School
2-19: No School
2-23: John Mayer Concert 8-) *squeee*
                  (3 weeks)
3-19: OGT week (yay for being juniors)
                  (2 weeks)
4-6: Spring Break
                  (6 weeks)
5-28: Memorial Day
6-8:   Freedom.

And that's it. The end of our junior year and the return of my season. It really is surreal to look at that. The 6 weeks between Spring Break and Memorial Day really won't be bad. It'll be warm, it's so close to summer we'll be able to smell it. It's kind of hard to remember what summer feels like these days, what with the 6+ inches of snow and temperatures in the single digits. But it'll be back soon enough I hope. Until then, let the new me continue to progress. When my season is finally back, I'll be ready 8-)

You can mark my words, something's about to break

2007-01-10T22:20:35Z

This is ridiculous.

I find it funny that I actually thought things were starting to look up. Now this is just getting frustrating.

Am I the only one who thinks I deserve a break?

Looks like it.

I think I'll start over, where no one knows my name.

2007-01-02T20:46:53Z

Happy New Year!

My 2007 Mantra: Live while you can, be as you are able.

This year I'm done with the drama, I'm going to reinvent myself. Within the 5 months left until my season returns, there will be a new me. Things are going to change and I'm ready for it. I've decided that spending my time worrying about change isn't going to do any good, so why not embrace it? I feel today, that there are so many things I'm overlooking. Life is a beautiful thing sometimes. There's too much fun to be had out there. I just have to roll with it.

So here we go, I'm ready to work.

It's a new year, and it's about time for a new me =)

You're everything I want, because you're everything I'm not

2006-12-26T05:05:40Z

Well, another Christmas gone, another year slowly fading away. It's interesting to look back on this year and wonder when everything started to change. It's even more interesting to think about what the next year will bring. When I figure it out, I'll let you know.

With nothing left to say for 06, on to 07!
see you there 8-)

Now I'm stuck in a moment, that wasn't met to last.

2006-12-20T00:42:51Z

Have you ever looked at a picture and seen a stranger in the background. It makes you wonder, how many strangers have pictures of you? How many moments of other peoples lives have we been in? Were we a part of someones life when their dream came true? Or were we there when their dreams died. Did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there. Or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone’s life, and not even know it.

Bella Vita

callnitlovesoon @ 2006-12-10T22:44:00

2006-12-11T02:44:02Z

I can't wait to get out of this town.
This just isn't worth it.
How long till graduation?

Maybe I should hate you for this, but I never could get quite that far...

2006-12-10T06:25:26Z

I can't hate you, but I can hate what you've done.

I hate that I'm still thinking about you.

I hate how you're never thinking of me.

I hate how I compare everyone to you.

I hate how everything still reminds me of you, even after what you did.

I can't hate you, but I can hate what you've done

I hate how you and your memory won't let me let you go...

move along just to make it through

2006-12-05T23:30:30Z

Its crazy that another month has gone by. Two months ago I could not have been happier. Things were starting to look up. Its still hard to think about, still every day now i question your motives. I wonder if anything you said had any meaning whatsoever underneath. But the fact is that I miss you terribly. And I hate myself for that. I thought that maybe you could be different, or things would change after a little time. But it's obvious you've left and you aren't looking back. There are times when i'm perfectly fine, but then some little thing will bring back a conversation, or start me thinking about you again. and then it's just hard because I know you're not thinking about me.

I'd like to think that this is just a lesson for me. The point of this lesson? I must have missed the notes..

Miss it...

2006-11-26T16:45:53Z

That summer was the best time of my life.
It was full of growing up and letting go.
It was about learning who my true friends were...
and learning that letting go makes you stronger.
Then you came around and messed up my plans of being emotionally detatched.
I still remember that night you came outside and smiled at me.
It's not like a girl just forgets those kinds of things.
It's not like a girl wants to.
That summer will always mean more than something to me.
That playground will only remind me of you from now on.
The parking lot where we layed in the grass in the summer heat.
Those swings we sat on, and the monkey bars we laughed on...
or that slide you didnt think i saw you get stuck in...
just laughing, and getting to know eachother.
It will only bring back memories of us and a time when nothing,
and i mean nothing could've gone wrong.
If i could allow it, that summer would've never left.
Oh, how i miss that summer.